Thursday, September 8, 2011

Insomniac Rambling About Jack Lord's Hair and my Late Night TV Viewing Habits

8 September 2011

Insomnia blows, People. Lately, when day turns to night and people begin to ponder a hours of blissful slumber, my body decides that it is pefect time to be WIDE AWAKE. Even if I got three hours of sleep the night before. I’m really kind of hating my body right now.

But there’s a silver lining to every cloud, and I have discovered the joys of late night-tv. Apparently, after 10pm my viewing tastes change. Instead of normal diet of sci-fi, anime, and the Gilmore Girls, all I want to watch are procedural crime dramas. My current favorite is the original Hawaii Five-O starring Jack Lord. If you’ve never watched anything with Jack Lord, then you have missed the glory that is Jack Lord’s hair. Nothing ever happens to it. It doesn’t matter if Steve McGarret gets shot, beaten, kidnapped, if he’s burning a sugar cane field or running six blocks to catch a criminal. It looks EXACTLY THE SAME. It’s mesmerizing. And if he happens to be wearing some crazy casual clothes his hair is even more fascinating.  (Steve seems to be rather fond of jaunty, but brightly colored, ascots—which are AWESOME) See the awesomeness? 
No one can rock an orange ascot like Steve McGarret. No one.

And while watching it I wonder how people even got out of bed and functioned in the 1970s. And I was alive in the 1970s (for two whole years—so it counts). They’re all wearing polyester, and it must be hot in Hawaii, but absolutely everyone looks fabulous, wearing their suits and ascots and cute minidresses, so that’s a reason to get out bed right there. Fantastically awesome wardrobes. But they have to go to phone booths to make calls when they’re not at headquarters. Cutting edge forensic science includes making a cast of a man’s footprint. And in the episode I watched this evening, the guy tracing the phone call had to literally trace cables across a ginormous warehouse. And my first car was a 1972 Mustang, so I know how hard it is to drive those gunboats featured on the show as police cars.

And then I tell all of this to my mother, who, being 27 years older than me, was around for all of the 70s, and she looks at me like I’ve gone crazy. I probably have. The lack of sleep you know, and the fact that I love no piece of technology like I love my cell phone (and automatic cat food timer, but that’s another entry) And when she was visiting me a couple of weeks ago, she was as glued to the Hawaii Five-O as I was. We marathoned it, watching 20 episodes in something like 3 days. She says loves the show because she likes crime shows (and to be fair she really does), but I really think it’s because of Jack Lord’s hair. She’s just as mesmerized as I am. But she still thinks I’m crazy. 

Steve says I'm not crazy. I'm right to be mesmerized by his hair.


PezzleStick said...

You are absolutely right about Jack Lord's hair. EVERY SINGLE CHURCH that I have ever gone to has at least one friendly, reliable, ever-present volunteer man with Jack Lord's hair. It's like ... Jack Lord's hair is part of a colony of benevolent aliens or something ... and they've gotten Conan O'Brien, too! Did you notice that?


Anonymous said...

I've always been amazed at how the Five-O team can chase criminals while wearing shirts, ties and coats in the heat of Hawaii and never break into a sweat. (Besides the always perfect Jack Lord hair never getting out of place!)

Anonymous said...

Unlike most others Jack Lord's hair believed in God and drank protein shakes before each day's shooting. It was also a big fan of sci-fi and romantic comedies and was reportedly always in bed by 9.

Anonymous said...

How it would have been nice to see Jack Lord drenched in body sweat !!!!
Can you imagine waking up to Jack Lord in the morning..looking better than you? What a hunk he was. I loved his smile. And of course his never out of place hair.

josie abbott said...

I have every episode of Hawaii 50 and can't understand the nuttiness of folks who comment on his hair. There are scenes where his hair blows in the wind and I quite frankly, fail to see what the "Hair fanatics" see. Then again if any man had as handsome a face as Jack Lord did, why would anyone notice anything else. The man was gorgeous and not in a little boy way as so many of the male stars today are. Lord was "all man", perhaps this is why so many women had fantasies about him--I know I did and still do. All I can say is what a lucky woman Marie was.

josie abbott said...

Can't understand the fascination with Jack Lord's hair. I have the complete 12 yr. series and his hair was normal in my opinion. Of course I was busy concentrating on his handsome face (one of the most handsome in film industry).Lord was not a " pretty boy" rather a rugged "he man " handsome. No wonder many women went crazy for him. He was All Man. Marie was indeed a very lucky lady.

Ben Dover said...

Why are so many handsome men gay? Sigh. I'd give anything to date Jack.